Helping a Parent in Michigan When You Live Far Away

Plenty of Michigan parents have grown children in Chicago, Florida or the West Coast. Helping from a distance is doable, but it works better when someone local can act on your behalf. AARP's guidance for long-distance caregivers starts with that idea: build a plan, and know who is involved.

Start with a local set of eyes

Phone calls tell you how your parent sounds, not how the week is going. A local contact can see the fridge, the mailbox and the mood. That contact can be a nearby relative, a neighbor who has agreed to check in, or a paid caregiver whose visits include a note to the family.

Get the paperwork in order

• Who may speak with the doctor's office, and who holds medical decision-making authority.
• Who can access bank accounts and pay bills if your parent cannot for a while.
• Where important documents live, and who has copies.

Sorting this out early, while your parent can participate, saves a scramble later. An elder law attorney in Michigan can help with the documents.

Plan around the seasons

Michigan winters are the hardest stretch. Ice, early darkness and canceled plans can shrink a parent's week quickly. Many families arrange steady help through the winter and scale back in the summer, when children visit and the calendar is fuller.

Care Connect at Home's Birmingham office can coordinate visits with a family member in any time zone. You get updates from the coordinator, and schedules can change as the season does.

Make the visits count

When you are in town, ask your parent and the coordinator what is working. Check whether the schedule fits the day and whether communication is useful. A plan should be revisited as needs change, not left in place because coordinating from a distance is difficult.